


Misery Loves Company

by eeyore9990



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 17:39:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/pseuds/eeyore9990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once Snape and Lupin have hit rock bottom, there's nowhere for them to go but up.  Against all odds, they might even do it together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misery Loves Company

**Author's Note:**

  * For [karasu_hime](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=karasu_hime).



_Misery Loves Company_

* * *

* * *

  
Severus curled deeper into the chair, somehow _certain_ if he could just make himself small enough that the words echoing around in his head would disappear with him and everything would...

_Stop._

Stop, yes. He dug his fingers into his scalp, tearing at his hair as the fabric of his robes scratched at his cheeks. Sinking into himself, he sought the numbness that had been so much a part of his existence for too many years.

It wouldn't come.

His stomach twisted, but he had nothing left to expel. He'd done that already.

The door banged open, and for a brief moment hope spiralled in a cutting swath through him. He looked up, eyes burning, _hurting_ from the destruction of grief.

"Headmaster?" Remus Lupin was standing just inside the door, having collapsed against the wall there. His eyes were bleak, as hollow as his cheeks.

Severus sagged deeper into the recesses of the chair. There was no hope to be found.

"Please," Lupin whispered. "Please tell me that... what they're saying... it can't be true." Lupin shook as he stumbled toward the Headmaster's desk, hands clenched into fists which he banged onto its surface before he let out a scream. "Tell me it isn't true!"

"My boy—"

"Nooooooooo!" Lupin fell to his arse, feet propelling him backward. "You're wrong. You're _wrong_."

"Remus—" Professor Dumbledore stood, eyes flicking over Severus, who quickly averted his gaze, before he went around his desk, reaching one thin, lined hand toward Lupin. "Come, my boy. We'll—"

"He wouldn't." Lupin shook his head, eyes dry as he continued to lie to himself. "He wouldn't have betrayed them. He loved James."

Dumbledore sagged, his age suddenly making him frail. _Weak._ Severus snorted with disgust and looked away from the tableau playing out.

With his face to the wall, the small hairs on the back of his neck provided his only warning...and it was too late. He heard a shocked exclamation before Lupin, who had been wallowing on the ground in self-deception, was suddenly on Severus, knocking his chair over, hands closing around Severus' throat. Hot stale breath washed over Severus' face and the blessed numbness he'd been longing for finally took hold. He watched, detached and indifferent, as Lupin snarled at him, baring his teeth and hissing, "Death Eater."

Severus didn't bother fighting back; he simply lay there, brimming with hate. With no breath to speak, he mouthed the words, ' _Do it_.'

Lupin's eyes flared and his fingers loosened just before a wall of magic knocked the two men apart.

"There has been _enough_ death," Dumbledore said, his voice hard.

Severus pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the toppled chair as he turned to Lupin, his lip curled. "You puling, cringing, cowardly waste of air." His voice was hoarse, his throat damaged, but Severus wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction of seeing him rub at it. He had healing potions in his rooms, after all. "When you lay hands on a person with the intention of harming them... at least have the courage of your convictions to follow through." Directing a Blasting Curse at Lupin, Severus turned to leave.

"Severus."

He turned to the Headmaster, hatred once more blowing through him. Wand shaking in his hand, he said, "I told you. I _warned_ you. And still you allowed her to die. I have no more use for you and your _protections_."

Dumbledore's voice was quiet but far from gentle when he said, "You may hate me all you like, but if you attack another person in this castle, I will see you turned out on your ear and left to the mercies of your former comrades."

Severus allowed the slamming of the door to speak for him as he left.

* * *

Sleep had never come easily to Severus. Over the course of that first week, he swung between sleeping nearly fifteen hours at a stretch and not sleeping at all for days. Dreamless Sleep merely pushed the nightmares back to waking hours, leaving Severus hypervigilant and jumpy. Grief had him seeing Lily's face in the fumes that rose from students' potions, and hearing her laughter in the quiet of his rooms.

Finally, in a fit of desperation, he set about brewing a Calming Draught, hoping that, combined with one of the vials of Wit-Sharpening Potion in his cupboard, would see him through the day. The Calming Draught was a simple, standard potion that any third year with half a brain could manage, which was Severus' only excuse for allowing his mind to wander so widely that he used fresh root of asphodel instead of powdered asphodel in the mixture. It wasn't until the potion swirled a livid orange instead of a placid blue that he realised his mistake.

Severus looked at the ruined potion, lips twisting as he grabbed his wand to vanish the mess... only to pause. With this mixture, the fresh form of asphodel was fatal. He stared down into the cauldron, a wisp of temptation swirling through him. Movements mechanical, he reached for a new vial and levitated some of the potion into it, then vanished the remainder. He held the vial to the light, considering it for a long time before a sound behind him made him start and cap the vial quickly. He slid the potion into his pocket before turning to see the Headmaster standing near the door of his laboratory.

"Yes?" he asked, eyes narrowing.

"Severus, dear boy, I—"

"Pet names? Do you really feel our... relationship... justifies such?" Crossing his arms over his chest, Severus waited for Dumbledore's next banality.

Dumbledore opened his mouth to reply, then closed it for a moment before he said simply, "I have need of your skills."

Severus raised an eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent.

"You are, I'm sure, familiar with Damocles' Wolfsbane Potion, yes?"

Jaw clenching, Severus asked through gritted teeth, "Are you _trying_ to insult my intelligence, or is that a happy coincidence?"

Dumbledore sighed and walked forward, folding his hands in the long sleeves of his gaudy robes. "It is not my intention to insult you. I would attempt it myself, but it has been many years since I've brewed so complex a potion."

" _Of course_ I know the potion. And I would describe the brewing of it as tedious rather than complex. Damocles has enjoyed far more fame than he deserves for his experiments."

Dumbledore's lips twitched before he inclined his head and said, "I see. In that case, I don't mind asking you to brew a batch. Your budget has room to lay the ingredients in store; please do so as you'll be brewing this monthly."

"I'm sorry, but no," Severus said, not at all sorry. "I have far too much to do as it is."

"My apologies, Severus, if it appeared I was making a request. I was not. As Hogwarts' Potions Master, you _will_ provide freshly-brewed Wolfsbane potion every month during the week prior to the full moon."

"That is a gross waste of expensive ingredients. Why would you need... _Lupin_."

"Indeed. When you have finished brewing, I will arrange a Portkey to take you to Remus' residence so that you may deliver it in person."

Shaking with impotent rage, Severus didn't find his voice again until several minutes after Dumbledore quietly shut the laboratory door behind him on his way out.

* * *

Severus stared at the steps leading to Lupin's second-floor flat and cast a surreptitious strengthening charm before starting up them. Still they creaked and swayed under his weight, causing him to clutch at the ineffective railing. Snatching his hand back, he curled his lip and continued upward, refusing to acknowledge his own relief when he reached the landing.

A noise from below caught his attention and he looked down to see a couple step out of the flat below Lupin's, their little girl smiling up at him. Severus scowled at the girl 'til her eyes grew large and she hurried forward to take a hand from both of her parents.

He reached the landing and scowled at Lupin's door, as if it had been the one to send him here. Why he couldn't simply owl the potion as he'd done every other night this week—rather effectively undermining Dumbledore's plans to use him as an errand boy—he didn't know, but Dumbledore had been adamant.

He raised his hand to knock at the door and stopped himself before his fist could connect with the peeling wood. Despair hung so thick he could _smell_ it. Unease twisting in his gut, he rapped firmly on the door, lips tightening as he felt splinters slide under the skin of his knuckles.

When no answer came, even after he knocked again, unease shifted to dread. Looking about for stray Muggles, Severus withdrew his wand and cast a quiet " _Alohomora_ " on the door, pushing against it when the latch clicked open.

"Lupin!" Severus called, stepping over a discarded pair of work boots. A sound from the back of the flat drew his attention, and he walked swiftly through the barren living space to find Lupin in the bedroom, sitting on the bed, knees drawn up to his chest as he stared out the grime-covered window. "You didn't answer the door."

Lupin turned his face toward Severus. Goosebumps rose over Severus' body when Lupin's gaze met his and Severus saw Lupin's eyes shift from pale amber to placid brown. And though Lupin was staring in Severus' direction, there was the sense that he wasn't seeing anything. Not with his eyes, at any rate.

Severus scowled at his own trepidation and drew a large vial from his pocket. "Dumbledore has sent me to ensure you take your potion. It should be drunk within the hour." When Lupin didn't move, Severus made an irritated sound and stepped forward, thrusting the potion toward him. "Take it."

"No."

Jaw tightening with anger, Severus said, "You may doubt my ability in many things, Lupin, but not this. The potion is perfect." When Lupin _still_ didn't reach for the vial, Severus snapped, "If you believe it to be tainted or poisoned, you are a fool. I would never kill in so obvious a fashion."

"I don't doubt you." Lupin's voice was low, rough; the sound rumbled from his chest in a way that caused the blood to flow that much faster through Severus' veins. The very timbre of Lupin's voice marked him as predator.

And Severus had never felt comfortable being prey.

"Then take the damn potion!" Severus said, throwing it at him. He was done with this.

He spun on his heel, resolved to leave, but a sound behind him made him half-turn before he was bodily pushed into the wall, Lupin's breathing fast and loud in his ear. "Take it back. _Take it back._ I don't want it."

Forcing himself not to show the fear that spread in numbing waves through his body, Severus rolled his eyes and said, "Well, _I_ have little use for it."

"Get out. Go away. Take the potion with you."

"And if I do? What will you do? Your paper thin walls won't hold you when you turn. Will you savage your neighbours? Tear the throat from their _adorable_ little girl?" Severus asked, sneering the words.

Lupin leapt away from him, eyes flicking around the room as he rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "No, no. Not them. Never them."

Something about the way Lupin said that made Severus stop, think. He was planning something. For all that Severus hated him, with good reason, Lupin had managed seven years at school as a werewolf with never a word spoken against him. Presumably he'd kept himself from killing innocents in the years since, as well. For him to deny a potion that would help him keep his mind must mean that whatever he was about to do, he didn't want to be able to remember it.

And that could only mean...

"I called you a coward. I was wrong. You're much worse." Severus stepped toward Lupin, who scurried backward. "How did you imagine this would play out? You'd Apparate to Azkaban just before the moon was due to rise? Sneak in somehow? And then what? Once the moon had risen and you'd turned, how would you force your other self to seek out Black? Because that's what this is, isn't it? You're planning to kill him, but in such a way that you don't have to take responsibility—"

"I have to do it!" Lupin shouted, though his voice cracked and faded on the end, a nearly silent scream. "I want to kill him with my bare hands. But... I don't think I can. I—" He bit his lip, trembling as he paced. "You don't understand. For years, he... and we... I can't do it. Not like this." Lupin drew a shuddering breath. "I know. I do! I know _here_ that he betrayed them," Lupin rapped his knuckles on his forehead. "But I can't seem to convince myself _here._ " His hand moved to hover over his heart. "He _loved_ them."

"Obviously not enough."

"You know nothing about it. Or have you forgotten that you left Lily to run off and play Death Eater?"

"And yet, I'm not the one who betrayed them to the Dark Lord, am I?" Severus asked, hiding his own guilt for the part he _had_ played.

Lupin snarled at him, then turned toward the window, where the shadows had grown. The sun was nearly set. Severus stifled a shiver and waited. He had his wand, and there were no Anti-Apparition wards in the area. He was safe. His hand tightened on his wand regardless.

"You're an idiot, Lupin. Without your potion, you have no control over your beast. You definitely do not have the sort of control you'd need to hunt down one specific person in a prison full of living corpses."

Lupin huddled against the wall, eyes locked on the window, his expression... hopeful.

"God. You're _pathetic_."

Snatching up the vial, Severus drew his wand and stepped into an Apparition, landing gracefully outside the gates of Hogwarts.

"Severus."

His whole body jerked and he spun, wand lifted to point directly into Dumbledore's face. His wand hand twitched, but he didn't lower it. "Headmaster," he intoned.

"Did you deliver the potion?"

"I tried."

Faded blue eyes narrowed on him and a slow heartbeat passed before Dumbledore said, "What do you mean, you tried? Did he take it or didn't he?"

"He refused it, on grounds of insanity."

"You allowed this?" The disbelief was thick in Dumbledore's tone.

Severus blinked, not caring that his slowly curving lips gave away his satisfaction at the Headmaster's distress. "Of course. Shouldn't I have?"

But Dumbledore was no longer standing there. The violence of his air displacement spoke volumes that Severus didn't care to hear.

* * *

Severus had always found it horribly unfair that his birthday was in the bleakest part of winter. He'd never felt the sting of this universal joke at his expense more than he did at that moment, standing in the howling, freezing wind, waiting for Lupin to open the damned door.

His fourth pounding knock—it was only by the grace of God that the weathered door hadn't fallen off its hinges—was finally successful. The door swung open to reveal a haggard-looking Lupin.

Stepping into the warmth of the flat, Severus stomped the cold from his feet and blew on his hands to warm them. Lupin shuffled away, deeper into the flat. Frowning at Lupin's attitude, Severus followed him into the living room. "What's wrong with you?"

"Why are you asking? Do you even care, or do you want to know so you can report back to Headmaster Dumbledore?"

Severus arched an eyebrow. "Of course I don't care. However, I also don't make a habit of speaking with Dumbledore any more than I absolutely must."

Blinking up at him in a sort of dull surprise, Lupin asked, "Why not?"

"Surely the fact that I despise the man hasn't escaped even _your_ limited attention?"

Lupin sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Nothing does."

Severus rolled his eyes and placed the vial of Wolfsbane on a side table. "On that disgustingly histrionic note, I'll take my leave."

"Wait, no. You don't have to leave. I'll... I..." Lupin bit his lip and sighed.

"Yes?" Severus drew the word out, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited. "I find your theatrics boring in the extreme. You have precisely three seconds to begin speaking. Three... two... o—"

"I got sacked today."

"Impossible. You work for yourself."

Lupin sank to the floor, leaning back against a sagging sofa. "Well, yes and no. I'm a handyman. Muggles hire me to perform odd jobs. Today I was... oh, God, Severus, it was horrible."

Interest piqued, Severus perched on a lumpy sofa cushion and said, "Oh? Do tell."

Lupin let out a shaky breath, fingers pressed to his closed eyes. "I asked the Headmaster where he'd placed little Harry. I had to promise not to interfere, but I thought... I thought I could watch over him. Make _certain_ he was safe."

"Yes, yes, you're a bloody saint. Get on with it. What was horrible?"

"I got sacked."

"So you've said. Now... elaborate," Severus said, rolling the word off his tongue. He didn't even bother to hide his enjoyment of Lupin's distress.

"I was up on the roof, fixing it—"

"With magic?"

"No. I can't afford to have the Ministry breathing down my neck." Lupin's lips twisted with discontent; entirely against his will, Severus found himself sympathetic.

"Mmm. Continue."

"They came out of the house, Lily's sister and the babies—"

"Petunia?!"

"What?"

"You said Lily's sister. He gave Lily's boy to _Petunia_?!" Severus didn't know why he was shocked. Albus Dumbledore had never been an adept judge of character.

"Well... yes." Lupin stared at Severus for a moment, then, when no interruption came, continued with his story. "She was taking them for a walk, obviously taking advantage of the weather—"

"Dear God, Lupin, I'll throttle you if you don't get to the point. _What happened?_ "

"She caught me watching them." When Severus narrowed his eyes in disbelief, Lupin admitted, "She may have noticed me watching them on previous occasions, too."

Severus sat back, whistling softly. "That couldn't have gone over well."

"Ah, no. She went back into her house, and a few minutes later, some policemen showed up. They called me down, asked for papers and references. Apparently she thought I was a—" Lupin's face flushed, and he drew a deep, shaking breath. "A _child molester_ ," he said, nearly whispering the words.

Severus' lips parted with shock... and the beginnings of wholly inappropriate humour.

"Not only did the man who'd hired me sack me without references or _paying me_ for everything I'd already done, but I was strongly encouraged to find any future work far away from Little Whinging." Lupin crossed his arms over his raised knees and rested his head on them. "And to top it off, if I ever try to see Harry again, I'll likely spend a few years in Muggle prison."

A bubble of wild laughter caught in the back of Severus' throat and when it burst, it came out as a rude sound through his nose.

Lupin raised his head and looked at him, eyes narrowing. "Are you... _laughing_ at me?"

"Not at all," Severus said, his voice hoarse as he tried to stave off hilarity. Eventually, though, the image of the Tuney from his childhood, standing with bony arms spread in a defensive gesture over her doll pram, overwhelmed him and he started sniggering. "H-how—" He had to pause to gasp for air. "How did that conversation go then? 'No, officer, I'm not a paedophile! I'm just a _werewolf_!'" At that point, Severus lost it, holding his sides as he dissolved into nearly silent laughter.

"I'm so _glad_ I could amuse you, Severus!" Lupin said angrily, wrapping his arms tightly around his knees.

"Oh, yes. So very much." Severus leaned weakly against the arm of the sofa, wiping at his eyes. "God, the irony is perfect. Of all the things they could fear from you..." Severus couldn't finish the thought, consumed once again with laughter. After several seconds of hilarity, he glanced over to see Lupin's shoulders shaking. "W-what? Surely even _you_ can see the humour—"

"It's not funny," Lupin mumbled, and what little Severus could see of his face was bright red.

"N-no, it's not funny. It's f-fucking _priceless_!" Severus gasped in between chuckles. "Best... birthday present... ever!"

Lupin's shoulders shook even more, and suddenly he was laughing along with Severus. "Oh, God, you're right," he hooted. "She was so... agitated. Thought I was giving her 'Dudders' inappropriate looks. Ugliest damned baby I've ever seen. So fat his eyes nearly disappeared!" Lupin had tear tracks on his face by this point, and only made it worse when he burst out with, "Looked like a pig in a blanket!"

That admission simply served to make them both laugh harder. For several long minutes, all that could be heard was the echoes of their laughter, but eventually that tapered off to low chuckles, and those into an awkward silence. Lupin once again sat with his back against the sofa, plucking at the threadbare carpet with his fingers before he turned to Severus and said, "Harry'll be all right. Won't he?"

Severus pursed his lips. Normally he enjoyed using the truth as a blunt-force instrument, but something held him back. Unable to give voice to his own doubts, he merely said, "The Headmaster assures me he will be."

As Lupin nodded, relieved, Severus couldn't help but remember Petunia's bitter jealousy.

"Children are resilient," he murmured, reassuring himself as he rubbed absently at his left arm.

* * *

"You choked a student?"

Severus stood before the Headmaster's desk, back stiff, eyes staring at a spot on the wall as Dumbledore raged at him in a soft, icy voice. "I told you what would happen, Severus. I gave you fair warning. And still you decided to flaunt my orders and _attack_ a student under my care."

"Forgive me if the precedent set in my fifth year led me to believe there would be no repercussions." Severus' tone was dry, but his bored facade hid sweating palms and a racing heart.

"Your flippant attitude is decidedly uncalled for." Dumbledore stood, hands braced against his desk.

Slowly, insolently, Severus dropped his gaze from the wall to stare at Dumbledore, allowing his disgust to show clearly. "Why don't we end this farce, hmm? You're not going to sack me, _Albus_. You wouldn't dare. You know as well as I that the Dark Lord is not dead; one day he will return. And when that day comes, you'll _need me_. I'm your contingency plan. So your posturing merely serves to make you appear a fool."

"No more a fool than you, Severus. You'll not leave for the same reason. When Tom returns, Lily's boy will be in grave danger. Your love for her will keep you here. Let's end this now. No more games. You will not leave; I'll not release you. But I _cannot_ allow you to endanger the students."

Lips tightening, Severus avoided Dumbledore's gaze. "Today was... an aberration. It will not happen again."

Dumbledore straightened as the tension bled from the room. "Do I have your word on that?"

"Would you accept _my_ word?"

They stared at one another, Severus too stubborn to offer the words without Dumbledore's reassurance.

"Of course-"

A noise silenced Dumbledore and made them both turn to see Lupin standing in the doorway, the staircase behind him solid once again. "I... am I interrupting?"

"Not at all, Remus. Do come in. How may I help you?"

"I'm actually here to see Severus. It's... it's time for my potion."

Rolling his shoulders to ease the stiffness there, Severus nodded. Turning back to the Headmaster, he said, "Will there be anything else... sir?"

Dumbledore was staring at Lupin, seeming deep in thought. After a moment, he shook his head, eyes moving to lock with Severus' as he murmured, "Nothing else. Enjoy the remainder of your evening, boys."

Severus contained his eye rolling until his back was turned, and preceded Lupin from the room.

"He's becoming a bit dotty, isn't he?" Lupin asked, worry heavy in his tone.

"Manipulative, more like."

Severus led the way down to the lowest level of the castle, threading through groups of loitering students and bypassing the laboratory. At the door to his rooms, he stopped and turned toward Lupin, staring at him expectantly until Lupin got the hint and backed a safe distance away. Severus' voice was lower than a whisper when he gave the password, but still he felt slightly paranoid that Lupin may have overheard him.

Who knew how heightened his sense of hearing might be this close to the full moon?

Severus shrugged off his unease and opened the door, shooing Lupin in before he closed and warded it behind them. He could always change the password as soon as Lupin left, after all.

"Were you thinking to keep them out... or me in?" Lupin asked, obviously amused.

"I am the youngest professor in this castle and the cretins are fresh off a Hogsmeade weekend. The first since Zonko's reopened."

"Ah."

Severus went to his cupboard, looking for the vial of Wolfsbane he'd put there under a stasis charm earlier in the day.

"I heard a bit of chatter on my way to the Headmaster's office."

Fingers wrapping around the still-warm vial, Severus stiffened. "Oh?"

"Is it true you attacked a student?"

Severus drew a deep breath to steady himself and turned, thrusting the vial toward Lupin. "Here. Take it and go."

"You did, didn't you? Why, Severus?"

Finding himself on the defensive yet again, Severus bared his teeth and said, "Do you forget that I'm a Death Eater? Perhaps I simply enjoy watching the little brats suffer!"

Lupin blinked, then smiled, though there was a sad tinge to it. "I don't believe that any more than you do. And you're not a Death Eater. Not any longer."

Stepping forward, crowding Lupin in the small sitting room, Severus smiled tightly. "You have no idea what I am or what I'm capable of."

"Besides spewing horrible cliches, you mean?"

"Get out."

Instead of obeying him, Lupin walked over to the tattered sofa and sank onto it. "I bet I can guess."

"Am I not speaking English, or have you suddenly developed hearing loss? I said, get out."

"They came back from their Hogsmeade weekend, pockets bursting with pranks and joke papers and... and hearts full of glee and happiness. And it was too much. You held it together through all the celebrations, through the forced cheer of the holidays, through the darkest part of winter. But with spring here and the promise of life all around us, their... _her_ death. It was like a slap in the face. How dare they be happy when they never even grieved? All they've done for the past six months is celebrate, and it was finally too much."

Severus stared at him, emotions too close to the surface. It was wrong. So wrong that Lupin, who knew nothing about him, should be able to put his finger on something of which Severus himself hadn't been conscious. His throat dry, Severus' voice came out weak and crackling when he said, "How dare you? How dare you presume to know the first thing about me?"

"You think I don't know exactly what you're going through? I walk down Diagon Alley and I want to hex every person I see. How can they stand there and laugh? How can they even think about smiling? People _died_ and it's as if no one remembers that. And then, when I try to escape it in the Muggle world, it's worse. They just... they have no idea. _No idea_ what they escaped so narrowly. I want to grab them and shake them and tell them everything." Lupin laughed, the sound so bitter, Severus flinched. "I may not know anything about _you_ , but I certainly understand the aching need to choke the happiness out of everyone around me."

Lupin stood and uncapped the vial, draining it with a grimace.

"Thank you, Severus." He shook his head, releasing a sharp breath through his nose. "Ignore me. I'm feeling far too melancholic for polite company at the moment and apparently not above projecting my feelings onto you." He placed the vial on the scarred end table and said, "Well, good night."

Long after the door shut behind Lupin, Severus stood rooted to the spot, haunted by emotions too long suppressed.

* * *

Severus opened his office door at the knock, expecting a student. When he saw Lupin standing on the other side of it, he frowned and turned away, walking to his desk to consult his calendar. He looked up as Lupin entered the room, shutting the door behind himself. Severus shook his head and said, "You're ten days early. You shouldn't need your next dose until the twenty-ninth."

"I'm not here for Wolfsbane, Severus." Lupin held up a bottle of the pisswater Ogden's passed off as Firewhisky. Severus squinted at it and, seeing that the seal was unbroken, withdrew two clean vials, size large, from his desk drawer.

"Sit," he said, pointing to the chair in front of his desk.

Lupin sat and offered him the bottle; when Severus ran a variety of potion detection charms over it, Lupin merely rolled his eyes. Finally satisfied that nothing worse than a hangover lurked in the bottle, Severus broke the seal and poured the Firewhisky into the waiting vials. Picking up his, Severus knocked it back in one swallow.

  


And then spent the next thirty seconds trying to convince his body that his throat didn't need to be ejected from it. After he finished gasping and wheezing, Severus blotted the involuntary tears from his eyes and snatched the bottle up again.

" _Silver_ label? What are we, _twelve_?"

Lupin flushed, awkwardly holding his potion vial in one hand as he stared at the floor. "It's all I can afford right now."

"In the future, _ask_. If we're to share a bottle, at least it will be one that's halfway palatable." Severus shook his head in disgust, rolling his eyes at the hope-filled look Lupin shot him.

"Yeah, I'll do that. Sorry."

He coughed again, eying the nearly full bottle. "My office is entirely unsuitable for getting properly pissed. Get up. Follow me." Severus stripped out of his work robes and hung them on the hook by his door before leading Lupin from the office and down the hallway to his private rooms.

Opening his door, he stepped back, allowing Lupin to precede him into the room. Severus took a moment to ward the door behind them—he wasn't interested in getting caught in an inebriated state by any of the other professors still in residence, no matter that the students wouldn't arrive for well over a week.

Severus walked across his small living area, through which Lupin was snooping, to collect proper drinking glasses from his kitchenette. When he returned, he saw Lupin staring at something on his shelf. "Have you quite finished sniffing through my belongings?"

"Not yet. I was distracted last time; didn't get a chance," Lupin said, an odd sound to his voice. "Snape... what's this?"

Severus crossed to where Lupin was standing and looked at the item under perusal. When he saw what it was, he cleared his throat, uncomfortably embarrassed. "Ah. These were Slughorn's rooms before I was hired. He left that behind."

Turning to look at him appraisingly, Lupin said, "And? What is it?"

_You know exactly what is it,_ Severus thought, glaring at his tormentor. "Apparently he collected ancient Roman artefacts," he said through clenched teeth.

"You do realise these carvings depict the relationship between an erastes and his catamite, don't you?" Lupin traced the designs on the glossy red bowl, seeming to linger over the younger man's wide-open mouth.

"You were a student of Slughorn's once. Surely you can't be surprised by this. And _do_ stop fingering it, Lupin, for the love of God." Severus reached out to smack Lupin's hand away.

"Why do you still have it? Do you enjoy this sort of art?"

Severus glared at Lupin. "No, I do not. There's some sort of sticking hex on it. Which is why it was under this cloth. Stop that!" But he was too late. Shocked, Severus stared in disbelief as Lupin easily lifted the bowl from the shelf before replacing it. "How did you do that?"

"It's this magical thing called _picking it up_. You should try it some time."

Scowling, Severus grabbed Lupin by the nape of his neck and forced him toward the sofa. "Sit. Don't touch anything else."

Lupin's lips twitched, but all he said was, "Yes, Severus. My apologies. I didn't mean to fondle your erotic art."

"I _told_ you it didn't belong to me. Apparently the hex has expired and I simply didn't realise. I'll return the bowl to Slughorn with tomorrow's owl post." Severus grabbed the bottle of Firewhisky from Lupin's unresisting hands and poured some into the glasses he'd fetched. Sinking onto the sofa beside Lupin, he raised his own in a salute. This time when he drank, he made sure to hold his breath and sip slowly. It still felt like a mouthful of acid sliding down his throat, but at least his stomach didn't try to reject it. "Why are you here, by the way?"

Lupin sighed, snuggling down into Severus' sofa and placing his booted feet on the low table that took up the majority of the floor space. "We've been doing this for... what? Nine months? I thought it was time to sit down and have a real conversation. Learn a bit about each other."

Blinking in confusion, Severus asked, "But why? Surely you don't think we're going to become _friends_..."

"Why couldn't we?"

Severus snorted. "Perhaps because I despise you?"

"No, you don't," Lupin said, bumping their shoulders, a small smile curving his lips. "You barely know me."

Severus stiffened and shifted away. "I know enough."

"I sincerely doubt it, but even so, _I_ don't know enough about _you_." His fingers brushed Severus' shoulder and an unsettling feeling snaked through Severus.

"So you thought you'd get me drunk and take advantage?"

Having just taken a sip, Lupin began coughing and choking on his drink. Severus stared at him until he was able to regain control of his breathing. "Take advantage?" Lupin gasped.

"Of my inebriation," Severus drawled, eyebrow raised as he slid a sidelong glance at Lupin.

Lupin's grin was annoying in the extreme. "Something like that."

"Well you can forget it. It'd take something far better than cheap Firewhisky to accomplish that." He scowled into his glass, certain he could see bits of chaff floating within it.

"Severus?"

Looking up from his perusal of his Firewhisky, Severus said, "Hmm?" Which was the exact moment that Lupin's lips brushed over his own.

Severus pushed him away, appalled. " _What do you think you're doing?"_ he asked, leaping to his feet and backing away, eyes wide with a combination of horror and disgust.

Lupin's lips parted, but no words came out for a long moment. And then he said, "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I thought—"

"Well _there_ 's your first mistake! Processing what amounts for thought through that pea-sized brain of yours is obviously not your strong suit. Get out!"

"I... I'm sorry. I—"

"Out!"

Glancing around wildly, Lupin grabbed his sweater off the back of the sofa and scurried through the door, which Severus, wand brandished, closed with a bang.

Severus wiped at his mouth, trying to rid himself of the feel of Lupin's lips pressed against his. Eyes landing on Slughorn's bowl, Severus' lips curled into a snarl. "No wonder he thought—" He stomped over and grabbed the bowl, attempting to yank it off the shelf. However, as had happened every time he'd tried to so much as shift it, the bowl stuck tight.

"Damn you, Lupin!" Severus raged, directing a Blasting Hex at the stupid thing.

The hex, of course, bounced off the bowl and exploded harmlessly against the ceiling.

* * *

Severus looked at the back of the owl; it turned its head completely around to glare accusingly at him.

"What? I'm too busy to bring it to him myself." When the owl blinked, Severus flushed and said, "Shut up. Bloody bird." He grabbed the owl, ignored its squawking and flapping as he secured the protected vial of Wolfsbane to its claws, and released it. "Deliver that to Remus Lupin." The owl knocked him in the head with its wing before taking off out the window. Scowling after it, Severus smoothed his hair back down, then straightened his robes and returned to the main portion of the castle.

"Going to see Remus, my boy?"

Severus jumped, then whirled to see Dumbledore lurking in the... well, in the doorway of the Great Hall. Which was brightly lit this time of day, and with his fuchsia robes, Severus really should have seen him, but— "No, I'm _not_ going to see Lupin. I have far too much to do. Has it escaped everyone's notice that the castle will once more be _teeming_ with hormonal teenagers in less than three days?" Balling his hands in frustration, Severus hissed, "Why is _everyone_ so concerned with my schedule, hmm? I am not Remus Lupin's keeper!"

Severus glared at Dumbledore as the Headmaster stood, mouth agape, then he spun on his heel and stalked toward the stairs that would take him back to his dungeons. His lovely dungeons where there were no accusing glares and nosy busybodies.

"He's a grown man," Severus muttered. "He's certainly capable of taking a fucking potion."

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of an unstable mind."

"Lupin!" Severus growled, whirling to see the bane of his existence walking down the corridor toward him. "What are you doing here?"

Pausing, appearing to be taken aback, Lupin said, "I came to get my potion."

"You're too late; I've already owled it to you."

Lupin's lips parted the slightest bit before he pressed them firmly together. "I see."

"What? I'm a very busy man! You're lucky I had time to _brew_ the fucking potion for you, and yet you're all disappointed that I didn't deliver it as well? What the fuck do you people _want_ from me?"

"Calm down, Severus—"

"I _am_ calm."

Shaking his head, Lupin reached out for Severus, who stepped quickly out of range. Lupin's eyes flashed with pain for a moment before he raised his chin and said, "We need to talk."

"No, we don't."

"Yes. We really do."

"Why, so you can attack me again?" Fumbling in his robes, Severus finally found his wand and yanked it free. "Don't come near me."

Throwing his hands in the air, Lupin shouted, "I didn't attack you! It was a kiss! A very nice, very _brief_ k—"

"Don't say it!" Severus said, voice a whispered shout. "Dear God, man, I _work_ here. Anyone could have heard you." Severus glanced up and down the corridor, staring into the shadows. He spun, eyes wild with alarm as he heard a sound behind him.

"For fuck's sake, Severus, you're acting insane."

Severus whipped his head toward Lupin and bared his teeth. "I. Am not. Insane."

"Fine. Paranoid, then. Agitated, jumpy, twitchy... take your pick. What is your problem?"

"Nothing! I'm perfectly fine!" Something hit Severus in the back of the head, pitching him forward into Lupin's arms. "Aaaargh!"

Lupin helped him upright, then waved his arms over Severus' head. "What the devil...? It's an owl!"

Rubbing the back of his head, Severus turned to see the owl he'd so recently sent from the owlery flapping its wings near the ceiling. He would swear it was smirking at him. Severus scowled and zapped the stupid thing with a stinging hex.

Lupin stepped away from Severus and held out his hand, speaking gently until the owl fluttered down and landed lightly on his arm. Remus removed the package from its leg, then stared after it as it took off, veering to thwap Severus over the head again before it flew back in the direction of the upper floors and, presumably, the owlery.

Lupin took the vial from the charmed wrapping and stared at it for a long moment before looking back up at Severus. "All my life I've hid what I am, and I'm tired of it."

Confused at this non sequitur, Severus was finally able to calm his racing mind for the first time in... days. "What? You're planning to run out and announce to the world that you're a werewolf?"

Releasing a frustrated breath, Lupin said, "Wrong secret. You know, my friends all knew I was a werewolf, and they supported me. But when it came time for me to trust them with..." He gave a sharp shake of his head. "I'm gay. I'm gay, Severus. I've spent my whole life hiding that from _everyone_ and it cost me the trust of the people closest to me. Because they _knew_ I was hiding something from them. And because I felt I couldn't trust them, and they couldn't trust me, they're dead."

Severus wrapped his arms around himself, shrinking from Lupin's words.

"I'm not hiding anymore, Snape. I'm sorry I kissed you, and I won't do it again, but I'm attracted to you and I'm not sorry for _that_."

"You won't do it again?" Severus sneered, poking one finger in Lupin's chest. "And I'm supposed to believe this, coming from a man who has never once exhibited a single ounce of self-control?" Severus knew that was unfair the second it left his mouth, but he refused to call back the words or apologise for them.

"No self-control? Are you _serious_?"

"No, he's in Azkaban." Fury flashed across Lupin's face and Severus took a step back before he realised what he was doing.

"No self-control. I see. Well, then, it won't surprise you when I do _this_." Shoving Severus against the wall, Lupin pushed forward and took his mouth in a ravaging kiss that had nothing in common with the soft press of lips he'd attempted in Severus' quarters. Too shocked to react, Severus could only stand there as Lupin bit and sucked at his lips before, finally, he pulled away.

"For future reference, _that_ was an attack. _Now_ I have something to apologise for." Without another word, Lupin turned and walked away.

* * *

"Severus?"

Standing on Lupin's doorstep the following evening, Severus glowered and said, "I'm here with your potion."

"I... didn't expect you."

"I can leave," Severus ground out, turning to do so.

"No, wait! I... did Dumbledore send you?"

"I am not his errand boy!"

Rubbing at his forehead, a confused expression on his face, Lupin nodded, then shook his head. "Fuck. Sorry. Didn't mean to make you stand out there. Come in; excuse the mess. Last night was... difficult."

"Did you not take your potion?"

"I did, but strong emotions will often trigger aggressive displays. I took it out on my flat."

"Lucky for your neighbours."

Lupin stared at him for a long, pointed moment before he drawled, "Yes. Lucky for _them._ "

Severus crossed over the threshold and stood awkwardly in the entry, hands clasped behind his back as he avoided looking directly at Lupin. The flat wasn't really a mess, simply disorganized. Cluttered.

"The potion?"

Severus started, then forced himself to calmly reach into his pocket and hand the vial to Lupin. He flicked sideways glances at Lupin when he tipped his head back, his throat working as he swallowed the potion down with a grimace. Rocking on his heels, Severus watched Lupin slowly lower the vial and roll it in his hands. Their eyes met. Severus raised his eyebrows questioningly, and Lupin mirrored his expression.

Severus nodded slowly, eyes sliding from Lupin's to glance around the flat again as he rested his hands first on his waist, and then lowered them to drum against his thighs. Lupin coughed politely, drawing Severus' gaze back to him. Again, they conversed with their eyebrows before Lupin made a startled sound. For some reason, excitement surged through Severus before he heard Lupin say, "Oh! Did you need the vial back?"

Severus shrugged, excitement fading to disappointment. "It's not necessary, but waste not, want not, I suppose."

Lupin handed the vial over, eyes boring into Severus' as he slipped the vial back into his pocket. "Would you like the others?"

With another lift of his shoulders, Severus said, "Not really."

"Then... why are you here, Severus?" Lupin's voice was soft, but Severus stiffened with ire anyway.

"I came to deliver your potion. Your gratitude is overwhelming." Severus glanced at the door but couldn't make his feet move to take him toward it.

"Severus?"

Rounding on Lupin, Severus said, "You know, I never gave you permission to call me by my first name."

A considering look on his face, Lupin said, "You never gave me permission to do a lot of things. _Severus_."

Shifting, uncomfortable, Severus said, "Yes, well." It wasn't his most brilliant rejoinder. He sighed, irritated, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Severus..."

"Hmph. I suppose I'll show myself out." Severus adjusted his cuffs, irritation degenerating to a general feeling of gloom.

"Severus."

"School begins in two days. I'll be far too busy to do more than owl your potions to you the remainder of this moon cycle."

" _Severus!_ "

He huffed a sigh, happy to have a reason to be irritated again. "What?"

"Come here."

Quirking one eyebrow, Severus said, "Well, that's not very likely, is it?"

Lupin narrowed his eyes. "Fine, then. Stay right where you are."

Ever contrary, Severus retreated a step for every one Lupin took toward him until a wall at his back stopped him.

"A bit like déjà vu, hmm?" Lupin whispered as he drew flush against Severus.

"I have no idea what you mean," Severus said, trying to melt into the wall behind him as a vague feeling of panic began to take hold.

"Shhh. It's all right. I understand now." With that cryptic statement, Lupin hooked one hand around the back of Severus' neck and pulled him forward. Lupin tilted his head and sighed against Severus' mouth.

Stiffening, Severus said, "What do you think you're—" The rest of his question was lost in Lupin's mouth, which sealed over his own parted lips. Lupin's teeth caught against his lower lip, nibbling it before the wet slide of his tongue had Severus jerking his head, the back of it impacting the wall. Lupin took advantage of Severus' temporary distraction to slip his tongue between Severus' teeth, the bastard.

The only excuse Severus had for allowing the unwarranted contact was shock at the entire turn of events. The surge of pleasure that jolted him from quiescence to action was simply a consequence of biology.

He certainly wasn't _enjoying_ himself. That bit of sanity soothed him through several minutes of frantic kissing, and if Lupin was the first to pull free, that certainly wasn't his fault. After all, the wall was at his back; he had nowhere to go.

"Severus," Lupin whispered, eyes closed as he rested his forehead against Severus' own.

"I still haven't said you could call me that."

Lupin smiled, opening his eyes. He was so close that Severus could feel the exhalation of his breath. "I still haven't asked."

"Hmph."

"Would you like a drink?"

"Manners? From you? How shocking." It was then that Severus realised they were both whispering, and he cleared his throat. "If you're quite finished mauling me, I must return to the school."

"Mauling you? What?" Lupin released him and stepped back, hands on his hips as he stared at Severus angrily.

Severus smoothed his robes. "Well, what would you call it? Really, Lupin, I understand you have certain proclivities, but surely there are more appropriate men for you to expend them on?"

Dropping his head back, Lupin pressed his palms to his forehead and said, "Go back to Hogwarts, Severus. Run home and don't come back 'til you're ready to ask for what you want."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Severus stepped toward the door, keeping one eye on Lupin.

"Just go, before I decide to 'maul' you again."

Severus paused for a moment, but the door was so close. With barely another thought, he left.

* * *

"I got your note."

Severus looked up from a stack of grading to see Lupin standing in the doorway of his office. "Of course you did. Hogwarts' owls are noted for their speed and efficiency. Stop loitering; your potion is on the table over there." Severus indicated the stoppered vial with a flick of his quill, then went back to writing scathing comments in the margins of his fifth year students' scrolls.

"I was surprised to hear from you. I've become accustomed to having the potions owled to me."

Severus' quill tore through the parchment, and he set it aside with an irritated huff. "There is little reason for me to walk up eight flights of stairs to send you a potion that is of no benefit to me at all. It is a gross waste of my time. Since you have the time and, presumably, the desire to keep yourself from turning into a ravening beast, it makes sense to have you fetch the potion yourself." Severus felt a flash of satisfaction when Lupin flinched at the word 'fetch.'

With a sigh, Lupin crossed to the table and snatched up the Wolfsbane, downing it quickly. After a long moment, during which his face went through many different expressions of disgust, he said, "There. Now you don't have to worry about any beastly behaviour from me."

"I'm quite certain I didn't suggest that _I_ take issue with any animalistic attitudes you might exhibit." Severus stood and went to his bookshelf, pulling down a potions journal. Before he could turn around and retrace his steps, Lupin's hands gripped the shelves on either side of him, trapping him between them. "Really, though, this alpha male syndrome is a bit overdone."

Growling in his ear, Lupin pushed away. Severus turned to see him pacing in tight circles, running a hand through his hair and flicking angry glances toward him at odd intervals.

"What is your problem, Lupin?"

"You! You're confusing the hell out of me! What do you want from me?!"

"Nothing, of course," Severus said, vaguely surprised that Lupin expected more.

"Nothing? _Nothing?_ You're driving me crazy!"

Brushing a speck of lint from his robes, Severus shook his head. "I'm sorry, but the blame for such cannot be laid at my door. You've always been a bit touched. Are you aware of the etymology behind the term _lunatic_? It fits you to a tee."

"You want to talk about lunacy? Okay, fine. Let's talk. You ignore me for the better part of a year, spend a night flirting with me—"

"Flirting? When did I flirt?"

"The night I brought over the Firewhisky."

Severus' jaw dropped. He couldn't believe Lupin had the _temerity_ to suggest _he'd_ been uncharacteristically forward that night. But before he could raise a defence, Lupin's rant continued.

"And then, after brushing me off, you flung my one indiscretion in my face until... Well. It may be my fault that I kissed you in the hallway that day. But you pushed me into it!"

Severus flicked his fingers in dismissal. "I? I had nothing to do with it."

Speaking over him, Lupin stepped forward until he was right in Severus' face. "Then you came to _my home_ and flaunted yourself. Practically threw yourself at me. And you can deny it all you like, but you were as much a participant in that kiss as I was."

"Participant? Oh, I don't think so," Severus scoffed and turned away, waving his wand to put his office to rights before stepping out into the hallway.

"Do you really want to have this conversation out here?" Lupin asked, following him.

"No, I'd rather not listen to your skewed version of events at all. But if you persist, I'd prefer to conduct this conversation in a more private setting than my very public office, to which every student in this castle has access." Pausing, Severus grimaced before he said, "Not to mention the entirely too nosy staff. I blame _that_ wholly on the Headmaster."

"Skewed version of events? So you're denying whatever this thing is between us and your place in it?"

Turning, Severus tilted his head slightly and said, "We've had the discussion about your inability to take responsibility for your actions before, Lupin. But for now, let us consider just who is chasing whom down a hallway at his place of work, shall we?"

"You know what? I don't need this," Lupin said, throwing his hands in the air and turning to walk away.

"Yes, yes, Lupin. Run away. You can put that on your CV. It's the one thing you've become expert at."

Lupin spun so fast he nearly toppled over, then came charging down the hallway toward Severus. "See? See? This is what I mean! You act like you want nothing to do with me and then, when I try to... you... Make up your damned mind, Severus Snape! Do you want me or don't you? Stop playing juvenile games."

"Or what?" Severus asked before walking the rest of the way to his rooms. Giving the password, he stepped inside and waited.

Lupin remained in the hallway, a blank look on his face. "What do you mean, 'or what'?"

"If I tell you I don't want you, what will you do?"

"I'll leave!"

"Hmm. And come right back tomorrow. Yes, I see. Grave consequences, that. Oh, bloody hell, Lupin, get in here and stop roaring loudly enough to wake the students." Severus wasn't standing _that_ near to the door, but when Lupin entered the room, he passed so closely that their bodies brushed against one another. Severus snorted. "Yes, of course. _I'm_ the one at fault."

"Should I wonder why we're in your rooms? I mean, unless you want to take advantage of me," Lupin said, his attempt at a lascivious expression failing completely.

Shutting the door and warding it, Severus turned around and considered him for a long moment. "While I will not agree that I in any way initiated any of the... groping and grasping that you committed on my person—" He held up a hand as Lupin, red-faced with anger, tried to interrupt. "I will say this much. You and I are stuck with one another for the foreseeable future. We will be thrust together for one week of the month for... well, for as long as I'm employed here or until someone develops a cure for lycanthropy."

"Gee. It's nice to know I'm not a complete charity case."

"Of course you are, but at least I get paid to provide your potion. Regardless, as I was saying, since we're going to be forced into some semblance of a relationship anyway, there is no reason for such a relationship to be less than mutually beneficial."

"I'm sorry. What? Did you..."

Severus waved one hand. "You can consider any physical gratification to be a form of payment if you wish."

Lupin gaped at him, mouth opening and closing before he found enough wit to say, "I can't decide if you just turned me into a whore or yourself into one."

Considering this, Severus said, "You. Definitely."

An indefinable look passed over Lupin's face before he stepped closer to Severus, backing him against the door. Severus frowned and tried to edge away, but Lupin trapped him in place. "Is that what you want, Severus? Hmm? Someone to be with you, sucking your cock, making you moan, because they must? Is that it? You like it when you never know if the person actually wants you for you?"

Severus opened his mouth to reply, his gaze dropping automatically to Lupin's lips.

"Ah-ah. Oh, no. There'll be no kisses. Whores don't kiss. Didn't you know that? Whores save their kisses for people who matter. People they _want_ to be with." Lupin pushed his body forward, turning his face away as he lewdly ground his hips against Severus'. "Oh, Severus. Oh. Oh, yes," Lupin drawled, his bored tone at odds with the excitement that was obvious in the arousal pressed against Severus' hip.

"You're being an idiot, Lupin."

"No, I'm being your whore. It's what you want."

Severus sighed, aggravated. "I don't... want a whore."

Lupin pulled back and suddenly there was nowhere for Severus to look but into his lust-darkened eyes. "What do you want?" Lupin rolled his hips again, and Severus had to clench his teeth to bite back a sound of pleasure. Much as he wanted to ignore it, Lupin's antics—breaths against his neck, the bony jut of hips sliding over his cock—had fully aroused him.

"I—" Severus had no idea what he wanted. Or rather, he couldn't find the words to _ask_ for what he wanted. His eyes slid to Lupin's lips again as he thought of all the things they could do to him.

Lupin froze, eyes focusing sharply. "Kisses?" he whispered.

Severus licked his lips, dipping his chin the slightest bit. It could have been a nod.

"You want kisses?" Lupin asked.

Unable to maintain eye contact, Severus glanced away to a spot just beyond Lupin.

"Take them."

A small shiver ran through him, and Severus' eyes were drawn inexorably back to Lupin's mouth. "We're both adults. This means nothing," Severus muttered. "Mutual..."

"Mutually beneficial arrangement, yes. I'd never dream of thinking you might actually want me," Lupin said, rolling his eyes.

"Perish the thought." Suddenly filled with confidence in their arrangement, Severus grasped Lupin's robes and yanked him forward. Lupin fell against him awkwardly, catching himself with one hand on the shelf behind Severus. A loud noise had Severus opening his eyes to see Slughorn's stupid bowl shattered on the ground. He hissed as Lupin bit at his lips, and returned his attention to the moment, automatically opening his mouth to allow for the exploration of tongues, the sharp scrape of teeth.

They staggered across the room, hands everywhere, only parting long enough to whip each other's robes over their heads. Lupin went backward over the sofa, dragging Severus with him. Their momentum sent them crashing to the floor, the table careening across the bare stones as they rolled into it, Severus sprawled on his back with Lupin sucking kisses into his neck.

"Oww."

"Shh." Lupin ripped at Severus' shirt, sending buttons pinging across the floor. "I'll kiss it better later. Take off your trousers."

Severus stilled in the act of pulling Lupin's clothing from his body. "Why?"

"Because we're too damned old to come in our pants. Unless you like sticky underwear?"

Seeing the inherent wisdom in this, Severus said, "Not particularly," and Banished their clothing and shoes to a spot just beyond arm's reach.

"Oh dear God," Lupin groaned as their suddenly bare erections slid against each other.

Severus growled his frustration at Lupin's lucidity and grasped two handfuls of hair, pulling Lupin down into another searing kiss. He rocked his hips, nipping at Lupin's tongue as they failed to establish a rhythm quickly enough to suit his needs. Strong hands grasped his hips, holding them still, and Lupin took control. The slick sliding of heated, sweaty flesh forced a moan from Severus, which was captured in Lupin's mouth and given back to him a moment later.

Tearing his mouth away, Lupin braced a hand against the floor and pushed up. He caught his lower lip between his teeth as he looked down at where their cocks were sliding so deliciously against one another. Severus reached up, fascinated with the way Lupin's nipples pebbled in the cool air of the dungeons even as sweat glistened on his skin from the heat of the fire. He scratched a blunt fingernail over one and was rewarded with a hiss and the return of Lupin's weight.

"God, Severus, God. Wanted you... this... so badly—"

"Shut up!" Severus squeezed his eyes closed, writhing beneath Lupin. The sharp pressure of teeth sinking into his shoulder caused him to gasp, and he dug his fingers into Lupin's arse cheeks, pulling against them as he ground his hips up, his whole body tightening as he began to come in long pulses that were caught, trapped between their bodies. Lupin groaned, the mess of Severus' release making the slide of flesh easier, smoother, and it wasn't much longer before he felt the warm rush of Lupin's come spilling onto him.

They lay together, bodies shivering and spasming against one another for a long moment, until lassitude began to overtake them both.

"We should move," Lupin murmured, tongue tracing the marks he'd left in Severus' shoulder.

Prying his eyes open and attempting to force them to focus on something, _anything_ , Severus could only think of one thing to say. " _Why?_ "

Lupin pushed up onto an elbow and blinked at him stupidly. "Because, um, we should get cleaned up?"

  


Snorting, Severus summoned his wand and said, "Idiot. We're wizards." A few quick cleaning and cushioning charms took care of the worst of their discomfort, and a blanket from his bed settled the rest.

* * *

Severus shuddered as the wards to his room dropped. Someone had either bypassed them or given the password at his door. Rolling his head against the stone wall, Severus took a moment to hope that it was someone, _anyone_ other than the Headmaster. He really couldn't deal with the man today.

Not today.

He lifted the bottle of Firewhisky to his lips, taking several long pulls from it, not caring that it burned a path from his mouth to his stomach. That pain was bearable. Suddenly the bottle was pried away, sloshing alcohol onto him, soaking his chin and the front of his robes.

"Severus."

He opened his eyes, staring blankly. "I owled you your potion."

Lupin, kneeling before him said, "I know. Did you really think I would leave you to go through this night by yourself? Did you think I wouldn't need to share it also? You're the only one, Severus."

A hand touched his cheek and Severus tilted his head away; he didn't want or need the comfort. The pity.

"I lost her, too."

Severus sneered, or tried to. He eyed the bottle in Lupin's hand and saw that, even allowing for the amount he was currently wearing, he'd managed to consume half the bottle since dinner. "You barely knew her."

"She was married to one of my best friends. Of course I knew her."

"She was my _only_ friend."

"And now we're both in the same position. We have no one left."

Severus reached out, pushing against Lupin. "Go away. I don't need you."

"Fine," Lupin said, his voice huskier than normal. "You don't have to need me. But _I_ need someone and I've decided to make that someone you." Lupin twisted around and sat beside Severus, shoving one arm between his back and the wall and using that to drag Severus against him.

Severus considered fighting him, but he was tired of fighting. He had no more energy for it.

They sat like that through the night, neither speaking, neither sleeping. Dawn finally came, or a semblance of it through the charmed dungeon windows. Severus sighed, head aching from his over indulgence the night before. As he stared out the window, he considered the night to come and how much worse Lupin's lack of sleep this night would make his recovery tomorrow.

"You should leave. Get some sleep. Tonight is the full moon."

"I have a better idea," Lupin said, nuzzling against the back of Severus' neck. "Why don't I stay and we both just... rest?"

Severus leaned his head against the wall, trying to think. But thinking was too much, too hard. Lupin's suggestion would have to do.

Standing, he led the way to his bedroom and waited 'til Lupin was settled before turning out the light.


End file.
